Monday, November 9, 2009
This weekend, I was blessed beyond words. I kind of feel a pinge of guilt though. I'll explain.
My parents came up this weekend and we all went downtown on Saturday. It was fun, a lot of fun. But for me, my mind was not in the right place. We happened to be talking about some of the new technology that people were having, regarding new laptops, iMac's, iPod Touch, Phones, and all the other stuff I seem to drool over. For me, I love technology, but I have never had to money to actually have all that good stuff. My Dad came up showing off his new laptop and I can honestly say I felt envious. I used to have a laptop but it was used and extremely old and out of date. The screen had to be moved back and forth in order the light to come on. Eventually the laptop pretty much broke. The only thing it is good for now is solitaire. Thankfully my uncle is letting me borrow his laptop for the time being. I just was thinking, "Dang, this stinks. How is it that everyone in my family is getting new laptops, iMac's, iPod Touch's, and I have nothing. This has actually happened twice now. The first round was a few years ago, everyone got new laptops in my family, but me. That's when I got that old laptop my other uncle gave me. I am so thankful for that laptop but we all knew it wasn't going to last that long. Anyways... I started to get in that mindset that I wanted one of those but I have absolutely no money to get one. I knew the thinking was wrong. I tried very hard to get rid of those thoughts. I was apologizing again to God, and even apologizing ahead of time because I knew the thoughts would come back. I've been looking at this material stuff now for quite a while, and bringing my selfish requests to God hoping He would fulfill it. (at least I think it is selfish)
Well man was I blown away. After Saturday was winding down and we were all at my sister's home talking and just relaxing. My sister gives me a box that was wrapped. It said, "To Kell, Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday, and thanks for babysitting Wesley (her son)" Inside was a brand new iPod Touch! I think inside I was just so confused! They had been trying to sell it because they already have one and they received this one for free when they purchased their iMac. They actually offered it to me for a good deal but I was looking at my bank account and I had absolutely no money nor will I for awhile because of upcoming bills. I turned it down and was bummed again. But here they GIVE it to me! I was feeling really guilty for those thoughts and I couldn't believe God wanted to bless me with one after being so selfish and envious. Who knows, but I do know. I love it. The iPod is AMAZING.