It's amazing how women just have that knack of feeling inferior to others. Yesterday at my life group we talked about the book, The Uncommon Woman by Susie Larson. With the group discussion, a lot of things were talked about. We talked about how woman can strive on what others think, live and make decisions based on others opinions of you. It's amazing how those exact feeling were the feelings I was feeling last night. I was overwhelmed with the thinking I was inferior to these ladies. They have so much creative insight, so much going for them, passion, a yearning to know God. I kept thinking how I was none of that. It was lie of course. Devil was preying on me last night, big time. I have to admit I believed that stupid idiot! It wasn't till I started driving home when I took comfort in my Daddy of all daddy's! I just kept saying how I am so tired of this refining process, it hurts. My heart is hurting. I wish He could snap his fingers and make everything better. I guess the real thing I should be praying is discernment between what God is saying to me and what the devil is saying to me!
I am so thankful for these ladies that were in that group last night. They are all very inspiring to me, and show me who I can be in a few years after this stage of life has been overcome. I am so thankful that I have friends now. Confining in someone is really really extremely helpful to the point beyond words. It has shown me what I have been missing. I think all this stuff is coming out in preparation to the possibility of joining in the Prayer Counseling ministry through my church. I have a lot going on in my brain right now. So much emotions with no drawers to organize them. They are bouncing around in my head like rubber bouncy balls with energizer batteries. Every once in a while they hit a sore spot. Even though I spent 6 months of my life at Mercy sifting through these emotions, I have a lifetime of emotions I have yet to deal with. 6 months only makes a dent. Counseling is not a bad word. It's help. I still need it. I know God's been pointing me in the counseling direction. I've seen so many "Godly confirmations" as my accountability partner says. :)
I can't wait. I really can't. I am so ready to get my emotions organized, its not even funny. I AM a great girl. I AM important, I AM loved by the King, I AM who God has delicately made me to be. I have NO reason to feel inferior to anyone.
I think it's time to brush the dust of my GCP (God's Creative Power) book and whip out them verses. I need the life of those bible verses to be spoken over me again. This is WAR.