It has come to a point in my life where things I love the most I need to sacrificially give up so that my God can be number 1 in my life. It's been an emotional rollercoaster this past week ranging from complete overwhelming glee to anger and depression. Don't worry, these emotions are all healthy. From my childhood all I ever did was stuff my emotions away, now I am just feeling things I have never felt before. My eyes are red and sore from all the tears shed this week. I only pray that what I have given up, was not given up in vain. I never knew how much this had a hold on me. I knew it had a hold on me but not to this extent. I've cried these past few days as though someone dear to me has passed away. But it wasn't a person, it was an idol. A very cherished and loved idol.
"Take it Lord... I pray You take it. Restore this hole I have in my heart right now, God. I yearn for the day when all this as been mended and restored and You are in your rightful throne in my life, as number 1, the only one."