Monday, March 8, 2010

Giving it all up

It has come to a point in my life where things I love the most I need to sacrificially give up so that my God can be number 1 in my life.  It's been an emotional rollercoaster this past week ranging from complete overwhelming glee to anger and depression.  Don't worry, these emotions are all healthy.  From my childhood all I ever did was stuff my emotions away, now I am just feeling things I have never felt before.  My eyes are red and sore from all the tears shed this week.  I only pray that what I have given up, was not given up in vain.  I never knew how much this had a hold on me.  I knew it had a hold on me but not to this extent.  I've cried these past few days as though someone dear to me has passed away.  But it wasn't a person, it was an idol.  A very cherished and loved idol.   

"Take it Lord... I pray You take it.  Restore this hole I have in my heart right now, God.  I yearn for the day when all this as been mended and restored and You are in your rightful throne in my life, as number 1, the only one."

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