Thursday, March 11, 2010

Song of Songs

I found it interesting that God wanted me to read Song of Songs yesterday...at 2:30 in the morning! :) I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep and I felt that He was impressing me to read.  I found this verse that I thought was so critical and it happened to be repeated 3-4 times through out the book. 

"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the doe's of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Song of Songs 2:7

Often times, especially in my case, when someone has been single as long as I have (try 22 years) :) A women tends to get lonely.  A lot of times we wait for our prince charming to come and take us away on his noble steed as we ride of into the sunset together and live happily ever after.  I'm guilty, A girl has her dreams! From my childhood, the only thing I have ever wanted to be was a mother.  I remember being in the class room when the teacher had asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. All the other students had lovely jobs which were great to aspire for, but I said, "I want to be a mother when I grow up."  But this dream so often steps in between God and I.  Sometimes I have that feeling that everything will be fine and dandy and great once I find a husband.  But everyone knows, marriage is not a Cinderella story. 

I think this is yet another thing I need to give up, I can always aspire to be that childhood dream but, like many other things, if it becomes more important than God, it's an idol.  I'm choosing this day to let God take control of this dream.  He knows everything, so He knows who my husband is, when he will come to me, and most importantly, when I am ready for him.  Why anxiously obsess about finding the guy on my own? God is in control after all, isn't he?

These words seem to be a theme for these past several days, "Just let it go, It will be okay." Again, I am going to surrender this dream to my Lord and focus on working on me in the meantime.  I'm going to just, Let it go.

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