Monday, May 10, 2010

God Ordained Rest

I'm thinking lately that God must want me to just rest. As I am looking at my ever decreasing calendar and noticing how all my weekly activities are now starting to wind down and eventually stop.  I see that by June 18th, all my nightly activities, whether it be tutoring, counseling, Alpha, etc. will be done.   I literally see an open calendar with no events besides Sunday church and the occasional swing dancing.  What is even funnier is that my job is also ending...on June 18th.  I will have literally nothing to do.  No work, no activities, only endless amounts of time.  This will be interesting as ever, because since I have been back from Mercy Ministries, I have made it my point to jump into things and get involved, to keep busy and not be bored.  For my past, boredom and staying at home has only led to emotional eating and binges.  I'm curious to see how I will handle this involuntary time away from everything as the new person that I am.  I am no longer an emotional binge eater.  I'm not.  The devil himself knows it.  These past tribulations and trials that I have endured these past few months have only shown me that I have been freed.  I no longer need to be afraid of food.  It no longer has a hold of me by the power of Jesus Christ.  I've felt it too!

This past week, I decided to go to the grocery store to pick up some chips or something for the Life Group I was going to that night.  As I was walking down an isle filled with what used to be my sinful foods of choice, I suddenly started to get fearful. I was thinking, oh gosh, I don't know how I am going to handle this, Oh gosh.  I used to this, I used to that... And as I started to think of those thoughts of the past, I suddenly felt, "You no longer need to be afraid, you've been freed." The amazing peace and POWER that I felt was unspeakable.  I had this great smile on my face and was filled with shear jubilation as I walked down that isle, I felt completely comfortable and at peace walking through the sins of the past.  As I grabbed a bag of chips for the party, I walked out of that isle knowing, things will never be the same.  I looked back and even stuck out my tongue! Thankfully no one was behind me so that they didn't see this random girl stick out her tongue but you know :) haha!

Anyways, what will I do with all my time? I'm planning  to use this given time to just rest, be strengthened, and draw close to God.  I'm going to need it.  If through Jesus, I can overcome this period of rest and boredom, I just know that together we can overcome anything. 

P.S Prayers are always appreciated. :)

1 comment:

  1. This made me giddy a little.

    I am sooo excited when looking at how far God has brought you... and where He is bringing you!

    "I walked out of that isle knowing, things will never be the same. I looked back and even stuck out my tongue!"

    I smiled and laughed.

    YOU'RE AMAZING!!

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