Friday, January 7, 2011

Future In the Shadows

I kind of wonder as I sit here at my desk looking out at the cozy fireplace with flames reaching for the sky and snow falls gracefully outside, what will my future hold? Many times I think, what will I be when I grow up? even though I've already grown up.  What job will I have? Where will I live? How much kids will I have? Will I love what I am doing? Will I be bored? Will I be content?

I must say, I am adventurous.  I yearn for new opportunities that spice up my life.  I would love to do something exciting, something out of the ordinary.  I love change.  God's given me a great place to live here, a great church packed with great friends, a great job on top of all else.  I've been given a great lifestyle here.  A place I call home.  Yet somehow I find the fascination and wanting sensations to just drop everything here and go somewhere, do something, move to a different state, maybe even country? I am at the age now where I can.  But dare I? I don't know.  Does God even want me to go somewhere else?  After all he's provided me with so much here. 

Career's have always been on my mind. I'm 23 and a receptionist at American Family Insurance.  I love it there.  I love the people there.  Is this what I will be doing the rest of my life? Would I be okay with that? Am I okay with that? Or do I want something else? Something more?  I've had dreams and aspirations when I was a kid of who I would be, but I never decided on just one.  I always had a list of things I could do, never one that I really had all my hopes and dreams on.  There's the Singer, Artist, Hair Stylist, Flight Stewartess, Architect, Nurse, Interior Designer, Teacher... For a while I had my heart set on singing or having my career at least have something to do with my voice.  Several months ago, God told me to take a break from singing.  Now, I wonder if I even want that anymore.  I still want to use my voice but who knows the extent of that ruler. 

I do know one thing... well 2 things in fact.  I want to be a mother, and second... I want whatever it is that I will do for the rest of my life, whether I become an Office Receptionist or any other of one of my dreams, I want it to be for God and in God's will.  I just get tired of waiting sometimes, you know? I've come to find out that God is an extremely patient man and loves to teach me that very attribute.  So as a 23 year old whose never gone to college, I'll just have to wait some more to find out what I really want to do with my life. 

No comments:

Post a Comment