Thursday, June 23, 2011

Life - And all that Implies

I can't believe how long it's been since I have posted in here! I do apologize for that.  I wanted to give you an update on how life is going for me.  Especially since I posted a couple times ago about how I was going through a huge battle.  Yes, I am still in a huge battle but definitely on the outskirts of it.  Life has gotten so much better.  I think back on how painful that time was for me and force my self to remember how I felt so that I can still learn for the road ahead of me.  I never want to go down that path of life again but I know somehow that God was in control through it all and He is continuing to do so. 

During that time, the pain was so tumultuous, that waking up everyday was a chore.  Smiling for customers walking through the reception desk at work was an ongoing effort.  Everything within me wanted nothing to do with smiling or being happy.  Thankfully, I've learned the art of acting and hiding my emotions so I didn't scare anyone walking by me! :) I may have scared a couple of my close friends in whom I confided in but they still love me anyways! During this time, I can honestly say I would have never made it if it wasn't for God.  Somehow He was always in front of me holding my hand in the process, giving me hope.  Though there were days I doubted, yet it was in those moments that God shined through the most. 

My friends were another much appreciated tool towards my healing.  I knew that what I was going through was no private matter.  I needed to tell someone, I couldn't do this on my own.  The pain within me was so excruciating, that I felt I would emotionally and physically burst if I didn't let someone know.  It was in these moments I saw who my true friends were.  When I told them how I was feeling and what was going on around me, and even how I had made mistakes; they didn't laugh, run away, or leave me hanging dry.  Instead they did what I needed the most, they comforted me and prayed for me.  They even checked up on me to make sure I was being held accountable and that I was doing okay.  My gratefulness is never ceasing towards them and how they so humbly responded towards me. 

I realize you all are probably wondering what in the world happened to make you go through such a depressing time? I honestly would love to tell you but it is not wise.  A lot of what happened were personal battles mixed with some life shaking experiences, and a huge spiritual warfare.  But I can tell you that the saying, "When it rains, it pours" is definitely true.  In these past two months, everything seemed to crash at once.  I felt like Job in the bible when everything was stripped away from him in a moment.  Although I had no where near the experiences and troubles he had, I could still certainly relate. 

But my praise is never ceasing toward my Father in Heaven.  He got me out of this.  He really did.  I finally feel like I have a grip on life again, where as before, I felt like I was getting dragged behind a speed boat going 100 mph and hitting rocks along the way.  What a miraculous thing when God saves a person, in more ways then one.  I still don't know to this day how He did get me out but somehow, it just happened.  I just pray and hope that my lessons learned stick with me and I act up on them. 

What an awesome God we serve!!

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