5 years ago, I was lost. A desperate soul looking for love, friends, a sense of worth and anyone to notice me. My pride got the better of me, my addictions were raging, and I had no opinions of my own for fear that they would be shot down in rejection. I stuffed myself full of food because that was the best friend I had.
Who am I today? Well, I know who I am. I am... a person. No longer lonely with too many opinions to count. I have some pride, but most of it was shot down a couple years ago. My addiction is still there and very hard to shake, and yet somehow I feel even though I still mingle in it, I've accomplished way more in my addiction than I ever had 5 years ago. I have learned so much. I learned my value, that I am talented in more ways than just singing, that I am smart even though I always thought I was stupid, and I am actually really pretty. Best of all, I found a best friend. However silly it may sound but I have never met someone as amazing as the God I know. I miss Him if I stray away for too long, and He is always there when I need Him. He cries with me, laughs with me, leads me, tells me the truth, and even waits patiently for me to return when I walk down the wrong path. Not only that He gave me a bunch of friends to help when the road gets tough.
When the days my guilt of not having been further along in my healing overwhelm me, I need to take a step back and realize how far I have actually come. Maybe even read this blog entry for encouragement. It's easy to look at the now and see I have a long road ahead of me, but what about the road I have already traveled? It's worth something? That it is, that road made me the person who I am today. Quite frankly, I like where that road is heading.